Misfits

I think I've found that someone

Wolves and Werewolves

Wolves and Werewolves... my favorite :)

All That's Left

All That’s Left

By Paige D. 6/27/14

Sometimes my gut still clenches in pain

When I see that he is still real

The betrayer that cut out my heart

After caring for it so gently

The one who asked me for a family

Told me he cherished my friendship

Promised me an eternity of love

Only to become angry

Only to break my heart

And when I see that he still exists

All that’s left is pain…

A Typical Day

For some reason it’s the realistic dreams that really twist my nerves. Like the dream I had last night about the man who tore my heart to bits acting like he wanted to be my best friend. I probably would’ve had a stomach ache after I woke up if I hadn’t rolled over and seen the man I’m in love with. 6:40am, “are you going to put that on snooze?” he asks and tiredly I say “yes” then roll over and hit snooze on the harry potter alarm, then hit snooze again, then see it’s 7:05 and force myself to sit up my body urges me to the bathroom. I stumble over him, the bed, clothes, myself. I take a piss, he takes a piss, life is good as I stare at his face neck clavicles chest nipples stomach hips—ooooh those hipssss… my head fuzzes up even more. Saying goodbye, kissing goodbye, hating goodbye. Three hours is too long. More weird dreams. Luckily I don’t have to wait long until I hear a knock—a knock that promises the sweet taste of heaven and promises of so much more to this life. Rush to the door “sorry babe, I was in the garage” I say to my Infinity. kisskisskisskisskiss mmmmm. Chores, chores, chores. Puppy. Food. Movie shortly followed by his beautifulhandsomewonderful face in my lap. Followed by something that begins with the letter S. Sweat, that’s right. Sweat… Oh, damn, time flies by too quickly when you’re having fun. Eat, five hours of work—which means five hours of people hungry for knowledge (or sometimes just needing to get away from their lives so they use the public computers and stare at the screen for two hours) and booksbooksbooks oh glorious books! And don’t forget music and movies…wwaaayyyyy too many movies. People LOVE movies. I wish they loved books more. Break time. Lean back in a chair with greasy, unhealthy but delicious food that soothes my soul…er, I mean stomach. Close my eyes and allow myself to find him. She walks in and he fades away and I’m forced to listen to her talktalktalktalk. Ears fallen in my lap now, I finally finish my food and get up. She’s still talking as I leave. That’s okay, I signed up for this. Two more hours, then… Home! Oh…home… Puppy play time. Me time. Nope, just kidding, she walks in the door. Let the 20 questions game begin! I wish I could just wear a sign that read I’M EITHER WORKING ON A PROJECT, IN DEEP THOUGHT, OR JUST DON’T WANT TO BE BOTHERED—I’LL TALK WHEN I’M READY—WHICH COULD BE A FEW DAYS FROM NOW. 25 questions later, she’s busy, I’m trying to release some of the tension I have stored up while waiting patiently for his eyes, mouth, hands, everything that is him to be in my arms again. The result? This. I’m only slightly pleased. He is a better writer than me.

Well, maybe not better. But different. Either way, I’m jealous.

I’ve never felt this way about someone who I love. What do I do? Can I live up to my expectations?

All I want to be is great.

Music :)

Songs that I have been listening to recently:

Hope - Xavier's Theme (from X-Men: Days of Future Past)

Settle Down - Kimbra

Precious Things - Tori Amos

The Monster - Eminem feat. Rihanna

Latch - Disclosure feat. Sam Smith

Pictures I enjoy

A few pictures I found recently that I really like. Hope you all enjoy them, too. Google images and Deviantart.com are a blessing :)

Graduation, 21st, Tonks

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My graduation from community college. I graduated with an Associates degree in English and a certificate of Achievement in English as well. Now on to University!

My first legal drinks. A shot of rasberry kamikaze and a mixed drink that tasted like fruit punch.

My Tonks is getting so big! She turned 7 months on the 23rd :)

Almost Ready

Almost Ready

6/25/14

Home
But not completely

Sitting in the living room
Because I feel a little less life
When we're apart
Restlessness settles in
The place that should be comfort
I close my eyes and try to recall
Your hands running along my body still
I'm stuck in the wanting stage
Wanting this, wanting that, wanting
A future with you always
Stuck waiting for the day I'll smile and say confidently
I know
Every time I look into your eyes
But first I need to erase my fears
And I'm so close so close
So close I can feel your breath on my lips
As soft skin begins to mold mesh together
Two bodies two souls
Love is two paths ending together the same
Could this finally be it
Could you finally be the one
My heart dares to believe
But my scars scream a warning
Am I ready to believe in such a mythical coming
Together as one 
I reach for your eyes and whisper
Almost, almost, kiss me, almost

Ready to believe

Always…

Clinging Water Droplets

Author's Note: Inspired by the movie "Cloud Atlas"

Clinging Water Droplets

By Paige D. 6/19/14

We are all connected
Trickling together to form a bigger wave
Lives interweave like pieces of twine
Spinning together to form both
Good and bad surges
Of cause and effect, forever
Altering the future that was already
Altered by the past
Our lives are not our own
We share each moment with
The past and future
I look at you and see my past and future
My mind walks along the trail
That lead me to you
And I thank God for every inch
My mind imagines a future together
No longer able to see any other
Option, my life belongs to you
As yours belongs to me
And I'm okay with that
I'm in love with you
For you
Are the most beautiful man
I have ever known 
And we are two droplets
Clinging tightly on
As we fall into the ocean swell
And ripple across the universe
Of love
Belonging to one another
Radiantly honest and true
Love brought me to you…