April, two years later

So, it’s been a while since I’ve written on here, but recently I’ve been inspired to start using this blog again though I’m not sure if anyone looks at it. However, for those who might, it’s time to catch up on the past two years I’ve fallen MIA. After being in love twice during the last two years and realizing that neither of those loves were very beneficial to me, I’m inspired to try to think more positively. I know that doesn’t make much sense, but I have this feeling that won’t go away that it was my negativity, worry, and never being satisfied that played a part in the destruction of two relationships, both of which I thought would last “forever.” And now that I’ve begun a new relationship with someone who I greatly admire and yet I’m already beginning to sink back into my worrisome, unsatisfied, negative ways, I am attempting to put a stop to it immediately.

I believe this year the biggest challenge for me will be to let things happen as they need to happen. I’m extremely impatient, I’m impulsive, and stubborn. Yet I’m a hopeless romantic. All of these things combined, I’m pure danger. However, someone has accepted the challenge that is me, and with accepting me I have allowed myself to begin to sink deeper and deeper into the challenge that is him. My main goal is to accept him with pure positivity. Wish me luck as I begin another chapter of my life, one that I desperately hope will be more beneficial to me than the past two years. I have no idea where this is going to go, and while my mind immediately wants to focus on the negative what-ifs, I won’t let it. Controlling my mind is my most difficult challenge, but I’m taking it. I have to if I want to reach my goals. I will enjoy every moment of whatever this is and whatever this will be.